Ceruleansoul’s Weblog

I think I’ll begin or end each of my blogs with a summary of my mood in only six words. For today:

In tears due to status quo.

I am again, a victim of insomnia. Inspired by a recent conversation with FS and disheartened by the amount of time spent wasted on Facebook applications during my usual bouts of sleeplessness, I decided to educate myself in global matters. I realized recently that I have little to no global perspective. I just finished The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver and learned that I am utterly ignorant about Africa. I know nothing about the continent except that it has deserts and dark people. Don’t I sound like I’m from the South now. I am completely disgusted with myself. In all fairness, I suppose I am selling myself a bit short.
I am aware of the copious amounts of racism, thanks to Andre – our white South African counselor who was surprised at how we “treat our blacks”. Like, oh I don’t know, they’re people or something. Gee, who would’ve have thunk it. I am also aware of the state of refugee camps throughout the world (including Africa) after I attended the model refugee camp site that Doctors Without Borders hosted in Lake Park. But the book discussed the political movements in the Congo in the 1950’s. I know nothing of that. I knew nothing of the role the United States government played in the Congo at all.
As I related this in the car to Alex we began to talk of history, of ignorance, of the current state of the world. The conversation eventually turned to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict; another topic I know absolutely nothing about. It was this conversation that inspired to me pursue research in what is going on outside of our blessed United States. Oh what a surprise I was in for.
Then there was this: http://www.foxnews.com/printer_friendly_story/0,3566,402111,00.html
A court ruling that a British woman was 25% responsible for her rape because she was drinking at the time. As if she went around asking, “Excuse me, would you mind slipping a roofie into my drink? I really would love it if someone would violate me and emotionally scar me for life.” What kind of society are we living in that it would be unanimously ruled by strangers that a woman would welcome that sort of horrific event upon herself? It was this that set me off. How can I find hope in human nature when we condemn each other in this manner? When we assume that others deserve this sort of tragedy because of irresponsibility? Yes, I believe that woman was irresponsible for drinking around people she does not know or trust – as much as I believe anyone who does so is. However, if it had been some young white girl with rich indignant parents who was raped by a black gang member, please believe that she would be an innocent victim to absolutely everyone. Oh America would stand up and hold her on a pedestal as a saint for coming forward and contesting the sins against her. Hallelujah, she’s a saint! I’m sure the fact that she was wearing an outfit that left nothing to the imagination and handing out lapdances like toothbrushes at a dentist’s office would never be mentioned in trial. And there is no way in hell that gangbanger’s lawyer would stand up and shout to the heavens : “She was asking for it!”.  I bet that there is a child in Africa with some debilitating disease or another who has hit their sibling, or lied to their parents, or sinned in some other way – do we cast the judgement on them then? Do they deserve to die because they have committed the same wrongdoings we have so often in our lifetimes?
My mother and I talk often about the state of the world. She is so optimistic about my generation. She is taken aback by the technological advances of today and astounding by the amount of information now available to us. She praises the enthusiasm for change she sees in my age group Maybe it is because I am around my peers more often than she  that the same things that she appreciates are what discourage me. I too am aware of the abundance of information that the internet allows, but am also aware of how few of my peers take advantage of it. Instead my friends and acquaintances spend hours on Facebook, or Myspace. I read daily of internet scams, successful abductions of young teenagers stemming from chatrooms and internet hookups. I see the same enthusiasm for change at political rallies, full of young people who buy political t-shirts and bumper stickers because they are trendy. To me these are dispiriting.
I look at the state of the world and am overwhelmed by the tragic situation human nature has created for itself. I feel like one of those Orthodox Baptist preaches, lamenting about fire and brimstone, ranting that the Apocolypse is NOW. The Antichrist, or a million of them could very well be upon us in a million forms stemming from the corrupt politician, big business owner, pedophile living 2 blocks away. All of these are different forms of evil. But the worst evil, the one I recognize most clearly and the most opulent is that of indifference. Here the world is thriving in chaos and half of my generation are worried about whether or not their hair is teased enough to be socially acceptable, or if their Call of Duty stats are going to suffer because of the last game they played. They don’t worry that another thousand people are going to be killed in Myanmar tomorrow, or that they might get abducted into a human trafficking ring tomorrow night, or that another child is going to die of AIDS any second now.

And I haven’t even researched the Congo yet.