Song Lyrics
So here’s a place I hadn’t considered media would touch: Song lyrics. Today on my way home I had the radio on, more for background noise than anything else – and the song I posted below came on. “Why Can’t I?” by Liz Phair. This song came out a couple of years ago, and I never thought much about because I just pushed it off as one of those meaningless teeny-bopper songs. However, this morning I decided to actually listen to the lyrics and was shocked. I thought this song was about innocent infatuation when in fact it’s about the excitement of an adulterous affair with a stranger. I’ll highlight in pink the only part of the song that I listend to before, and then the lyrics that shocked me this morning will be in green.
WHY CAN’T I?
Get a load of me, get a load of you
Walkin’ down the street, and I hardly know you
It’s just like we were meant to be
Holding hands with you when we’re out at night
Got a girlfriend, you say it isn’t right
And I’ve got someone waiting too
What if this is just the beginning
We’re already wet, and we’re gonna go swimming
Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you
It’s inevitable, it’s a fact that we’re gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you
Isn’t this the best part of breakin’ up
Finding someone else you can’t get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
it’s an itch we know we are gonna scratchI
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn’t it be beautiful
Here we go, we’re at the beginning
We haven’t fucked yet, but my heads spinning
Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you
It’s inevitable, it’s a fact that we’re gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you
High enough for you to make me wonder
Where it’s goin’
High enough for you to pull me under
Somethin’s growin’
out of this that we can control
Baby I am dyin’
Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you
Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can’t I speak whenever I talk about you
It’s inevitable, it’s a fact that we’re gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can’t I breathe whenever I think about you
Facebook Ads
I check my Facebook page pretty regularly but never take much notice of the Facebook ads on it. I guess the way they pick ads is by studying the information you provided in your profile. Because I am a female collee student, a majority of the ads are “lose weight fast!”. Many of them have picures of celebrities claiming to know their ’secret diet tip’. There is one picture that particularly irks me; it’s a picture of a girl’s stomach, that looks much like my own, but the caption underneath is a first person narrative about how she was “sooo flabby and went from this to sexy. FInd out what my secret is!” The advertisement implies that I – whose stomach mirrors that in the picture and flabby and not sexy. I know both of those are not true, but I wonder if my subconscious reads these ads, and takes them to heart.
Ugh, I hate how ‘needy’ I have become for him. I cried yesterday when he told me that he wouldn’t be home until Monday. They were tears of pure disappointment – I had mentally prepared myself for going a few days without contact and reassured myself with the thought that we would be able to spend Wednesday night together. I didn’t tell him that I was upset because I know that clingy people make him nervous. He’d be upset that I feel I need to hide something from him, but it’s not really about him. I don’t really want to admit to myself that I’m being clingy; I don’t think I could bring myself to say that aloud.
I feel pathetic and vulnerable. I don’t know how I managed to survive this summer – 3 months without seeing him – and yet can’t seem to to be without him for a whole 6 days. That pisses me off. I hate feeling weak.
I haven’t written Jones yet. He and I promised we would keep each other on our toes over the year. I left over 3 months ago – and yet, nothing. I would call it writer’s block except that I don’t think that usually lasts years. At this point it really has been years since I threw myself into a writing project. It makes me feel like a failure. Moreover, I am certain I’ve disappointed him. I’ve failed him as an accountability partner because I can’t hold myself accountable.
